yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
