so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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