ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
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Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
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I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.