I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
