TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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