ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
