you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
