There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
