He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
