i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
