idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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