just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
