Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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