Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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