He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
third nipple confirmed
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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