I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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