Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize