you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize