Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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