i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
