UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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