if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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