I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and she was petting her beer can
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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