I never want to see another naked old woman again.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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