i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
