Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
