Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
