Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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