How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We're too hungover to prance.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
