Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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