I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
