is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
