I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
