Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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