I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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