this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
this just has baby written all over it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
