So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
