i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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