and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
