I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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