just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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