mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize