So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
