The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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