I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
