Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize