He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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