if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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