Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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