Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
