READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize