I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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