I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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