You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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