and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
