We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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