I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
