Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

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(734): i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened http://tfl.nu/eey2

Replies (4) Good night (851) Bad night (548)
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(909): View more from California

I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

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(909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him http://tfl.nu/axwb

Replies (165) Good night (90975) Bad night (4113)
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(917): View more from New York City

I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.

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(917): I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily. http://tfl.nu/kdcy

Replies (35) Good night (1770) Bad night (5306)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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(757): Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/fb35

Replies (24) Good night (1670) Bad night (5243)
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(813): View more from Florida

Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.

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(813): Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper. http://tfl.nu/ip7t

Replies (13) Good night (4537) Bad night (778)
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(914): View more from New York

I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.

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(914): I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired. http://tfl.nu/rh17

Replies (11) Good night (922) Bad night (2681)
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(407): View more from Florida

Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk

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(407): Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk http://tfl.nu/aifa

Replies (14) Good night (5259) Bad night (1151)
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(325): View more from Texas

Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???

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(325): Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong??? http://tfl.nu/adeh

Replies (13) Good night (1059) Bad night (3318)
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(207): View more from Maine

Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.

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(207): Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america. http://tfl.nu/yc3t

Replies (7) Good night (2906) Bad night (762)
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(845): View more from New York

I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.

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(845): I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears. http://tfl.nu/jlvi

Replies (8) Good night (1652) Bad night (437)
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(478): View more from Georgia

Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend

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(478): Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend http://tfl.nu/itrv

Replies (4) Good night (1023) Bad night (478)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape

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(318): There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape http://tfl.nu/a8x6

Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (1232)
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(514): View more from Quebec

It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary

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(514): It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary http://tfl.nu/a9h3

Replies (0) Good night (904) Bad night (322)
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(914): View more from New York

I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.

(216): View more from Ohio

Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.

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(914): I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer. (216): Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro. http://tfl.nu/w82v

Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (470)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza

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(651): I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza http://tfl.nu/ksxf

Replies (0) Good night (175) Bad night (314)

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