Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy

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  (608): the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy <3's balls" is written in sharpie across my forehead http://tfl.nu/cffy
  Replies (24) Good night (1600) Bad night (4622)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won

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  (908): Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won http://tfl.nu/nhsb
  Replies (208) Good night (2236) Bad night (4247)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was

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  (720): I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was http://tfl.nu/iq7q
  Replies (58) Good night (16824) Bad night (2054)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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  (856): He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college. http://tfl.nu/khqs
  Replies (6) Good night (967) Bad night (5850)
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  (626): View more from California

  i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen

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  (626): i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/216j
  Replies (4) Good night (3016) Bad night (1022)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.

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  (901): i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation. http://tfl.nu/cktw
  Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (2504)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.

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  (512): He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay. http://tfl.nu/se3r
  Replies (25) Good night (1826) Bad night (3234)
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  (646): View more from New York

  All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there

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  (646): All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there http://tfl.nu/jsjn
  Replies (12) Good night (4222) Bad night (1436)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention

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  (781): Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention http://tfl.nu/g2dg
  Replies (6) Good night (1486) Bad night (880)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

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  (906): Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am? http://tfl.nu/ceer
  Replies (12) Good night (2733) Bad night (1249)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!

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  (479): That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?! http://tfl.nu/832w
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (702)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Tis the season.

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  (309): I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring. (1-309): Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/pjke
  Replies (6) Good night (1314) Bad night (387)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?

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  (203): He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem? http://tfl.nu/53aj
  Replies (10) Good night (366) Bad night (1037)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Shania Twain would have been proud

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  (218): the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up (701): Shania Twain would have been proud http://tfl.nu/u6vz
  Replies (3) Good night (990) Bad night (254)
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  (714): View more from California

  I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.

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  (714): I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks. http://tfl.nu/v5vh
  Replies (4) Good night (433) Bad night (292)

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