yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.