Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.

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  (815): Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now. http://tfl.nu/afd9
  Replies (23) Good night (971) Bad night (552)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?

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  (289): i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going? http://tfl.nu/rdp8
  Replies (20) Good night (892) Bad night (5344)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was like, "um, that's my butthole."

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  (215): I was like, "um, that's my butthole." http://tfl.nu/5utz
  Replies (32) Good night (1927) Bad night (6461)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Turn them off?

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  (419): Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day? (216): Turn them off? http://tfl.nu/9fwv
  Replies (20) Good night (4220) Bad night (741)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

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  (716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e
  Replies (26) Good night (12787) Bad night (1524)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.

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  (214): you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night. http://tfl.nu/kc82
  Replies (6) Good night (3853) Bad night (1442)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.

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  (240): We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course. http://tfl.nu/y9iu
  Replies (56) Good night (16544) Bad night (1715)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.

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  (603): He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing. http://tfl.nu/abhc
  Replies (3) Good night (728) Bad night (1518)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?

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  (717): Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon? http://tfl.nu/o6hv
  Replies (7) Good night (1542) Bad night (1520)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.

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  (206): But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness. http://tfl.nu/0ech
  Replies (15) Good night (3090) Bad night (575)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.

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  (+44): She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina. http://tfl.nu/51hz
  Replies (14) Good night (2457) Bad night (734)
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  (916): View more from California

  Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b

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  (916): Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b http://tfl.nu/9ccv
  Replies (5) Good night (1049) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile

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  (570): Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile (1-570): FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile http://tfl.nu/2z1a
  Replies (0) Good night (1103) Bad night (379)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark

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  (330): my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark http://tfl.nu/b8mx
  Replies (9) Good night (911) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect

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  (704): He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect http://tfl.nu/wh1c
  Replies (4) Good night (223) Bad night (482)

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