You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
