Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
