I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
