the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize