duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
