I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize